You know, part of me almost feels bad for the politically disenfranchised right wing. Hell, I remember six or seven years ago when my world view was generally seen as crazy or irrelevant. I remember the opposition party chortling to themselves about their “permanent majority” (and I do hope the Democrats learn from their mistake). I remember when way more than 65% of the country firmly backed a President that I was sure would lead us into a downward spiral of ruin and disaster. Then I remember that no one is sending the thin-skinned right wingers any death threats or calling them unAmerican traitors, and I suddenly I don’t feel so bad for them anymore. Funny that.

But I do know where they’re coming from. I remember feeling ideologically abandoned by my countrymen, to the point where I hardly wanted anything to do with them. So I understand the whole “Going Galt” meme. For those of you that are unaware, “Going Galt” is a reference to the mysterious yet crucial character from Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged. John Galt is just about the richest, smartest, most industrious and ingenious man on the face of the Earth. He and his merry but generally disassociated band of do-it-yourself’ers decide that they are sick and tired of all the hangers-on and the crybabies demanding a slice of their hard earned pie. So one day, he just up and disappears, because he would rather vanish without a trace than work to support the lazy, worthless masses.

All of the other brilliant and talented industrialists follow suit, and their absence throws the entire world into disarray. Because without their inexplicable awesomeness, always present to tell the other 99% how to live their lives, the rest of us poor suckers are lost in a hazy doldrum of pointless existence. Without Galt and his caste of upper-echelon makers and doers, the rest of the world lacks a teat to suck on. Low and behold, we all learn the error of our ways and come to respect those who propped us up. Only at the end of the novel does John Galt re-emerge to end the suffering of the tiny-brained working class by re-structuring all of society into a calculated applause machine whose affections are permanently affixed on Galt’s sheer genius.

You want to talk about a self-aggrandizing masturbation fantasy? You just can’t beat Atlas Shrugged. Never before (and hopefully never again) will the rights of the privileged and the pompous be so thoroughly defended in their privilege and pomposity through such tedious and repetitive prose. I’ve spared you the fake mysticism and the badly arranged pseudo-science, and more or less spoiled the book at this point. But that’s only true in as much as one can actively spoil something that is already fetid with willful exaggeration and childish, intentional stupidity.

So beloved is Atlas Shrugged on the economic right (Alan Greenspan worshiped at the altar for most of his adult life) that, for a tiny, hilarious blip on the social radar, people started actually talking about “Going Galt”. Notice that I said they were talking about it, as opposed to actually doing it. In the end, no one went Galt because not a single Objectivist was willing to put his money where his mouth was. Because the entire philosophy is just one big rationalization for “poor, successful me”. Because even the true believers know, deep down, that they love money far more than they love their ideals. Either that or they know they’re full of shit. I’m open to either possibility.

Even those who actively, publicly called for people to Go Galt were full of shit. John Galt didn’t make his great big (fifty-six page long) speech before he disappeared. He just up and vanished. And the gap that he left in the workings of the world was evidence in his absence. Yet Michelle Malkin and her ilk didn’t just up and disappear (though I pine for the day, I really do). No, Malkin stuck around, cheerleading for everyone else to take a stand. Possibly because deep down she knows she doesn’t produce anything useful to society in the first place. But more likely because that’s where the easy money was.

And in a lot of ways, that’s the real trouble with Atlas Shrugged. It fails to realize that while there are a few prodigies and genuine geniuses out there shaping the world, there are ten times as many capable, intelligent people waiting in the wings. In its own absurd way, it fellates unfettered capitalism without acknowledging one of its core tenants. In a truly free and open market, if one person cannot or will not produce, another will gladly fill their spot and collect the wealth that could have been theirs.

So, back to our emotionally battered right wing. I said earlier that I understand their rejection of the countrymen that seem to be rejecting them. I remember that phase. For me, it lasted a few days after the election. For others, I guess it lingers a bit. But I also understand another need. The need for relevance. The need to roll up your sleeves and change the direction of the nation itself. When you realize that you cannot or will not abandon something you’re invested in, and you decide to take hold of it and make it your own again.

And as those sorts of movements go, the left did an amazing job. The resurgence of individually-powered politics and, dare I say it, populism in this country between Bush’s first term and the present day still leaves me a bit staggered and breathless. I watched as the left grew out of their anger (but not out of their outrage). I watched them organize, mobilize, and hold their party’s feet to the fire.

Yes, there were protests and marches and grand, media-grasping gestures. But there was also a lot of political footwork. There was time donated to causes and leaders we could genuinely respect. There was also money donated – so much that it rivaled the standard wholesale purchasing of politicians that is so repugnantly present in both political parties. It wasn’t just idle foot stomping and tantrum throwing. It was measured, decisive action. And hey, some of it worked, some of it didn’t. But today our President is Barack Obama instead of John McCain or Willard M. Romney or even Hillary Clinton. And anyone who was paying attention knows that it was the individual wills of many rather than the presumed logic of the failure-proned Democratic leadership that helped him get there.

So here we are, three months into the Obama Presidency, and the right is absolutely sure that the sky is falling, ACORN is wire-tapping their call phones, and that the government is going to give their guns to terrorists and their paychecks to welfare queens. Socialism is descending on their lives like some throwback McCarthy boogeyman, and they’re not going to take this shit sitting down!

They’re going to throw a Tea Party.

No, for reals. Actually, they’re going to throw a lot of Tea Parties. All over the country, in fact. Yes, in the spirit of the Boston Tea Party, and I’m using the word “spirit” loosely here, the wingiest and the nuttiest of the wingnuts are organizing protests and marches on April 15th – tax day – and rallying against the forces of Evil Obama Socialism. Of course, instead of engaging in acts of genuine protest they’re going to march down the streets waving tea bags  in their hands. Just like our founding fathers, I tells ya! And I’m sure once they take about ten minutes per person to explain to every onlooker what their gesture is intended to represent, the general public will be very impressed. You know. Once they get done making “teabagging” jokes.

Aww, who am I kidding? I’m never going to be done making “teabagging” jokes.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 at 4:55 pm and is filed under Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.